44 toward the Omer

gevurah shebmalkhut

I run to someone else’s home, knowing they are not home. The thoughts come, and I remember I have more choice than I used to. What do I have other than choices? God, give me what I need to know in order to change,

but ideally not by the way of suffering. Maybe, God says, what a soul is is the ability to change without any external input. Free will was in this place, I say, and I didn’t know it. I set my direction again, again, again.