Someday

When we sing and rock in our chairs your voice sounds louder then softer then louder again like the closeness of the ground with each whoosh downwards of the swing in the park where I contemplated the relative heights of trees and houses and thought I could live there for sure I could live in that house someday

There was that time you sat down next to me during services and I borrowed a siddur from you and then when I gave it back at the end I kissed it and then you kissed it before putting it away and I thought to myself that's the only kiss we'll ever know and I wrote down that line because it sounded like a good ending to a story

I want to whirl in my dresses in front of you pull them out of the closet toss them on my bed and put them on one by one so there would finally be someone to share in my childish vanity at which point it wouldn't really be vanity any more it would be something about glory and joy in a ridiculous way and maybe you'd even get up from where you'd be sitting in a chair and hug me

And then after hugging we could sit opposite each other on the floor or maybe on the couch if our backs were tired and look at each other for a while and I could tell you about the divinity school eye contact course description I had just read that said that no matter which culture you're talking about people only really look at each other for more than ten seconds at a time if they're about to fight or if they're lovers and then you'd hit me over the head with a pillow as a joke

It's best if you interpret all of my rambling about graduate school applications and the soda bottles lined up on my counter tonight that I took home from yeshiva because no one else took them although I don't even drink diet soda as serving the phatic function which means that those sentences can be described as fulfilling the requirement of "meein chatima samuch lchatima" which means that anything directly preceding With Love, Molly is just another way of saying the same thing