30 toward the Omer

gevurah shebhod

The room comes back into focus, the light on the arm of the chair, the stained glass disc of two birds on the window—nothing but what is already here

29 toward the Omer

chesed shebhod

There is just something about this tree buckling the sidewalk, and then I notice the plaque: Tree Champion. As I write this, the Massachusetts Champion Tree List tells me

that this Quercus palustris is 223.2 inches in circumference, 112 feet tall, and 112.5 feet in average crown spread, resulting in 363 Total Tree Points. There is just something

28 toward the Omer

malkhut shebnetzach

I thought to write about you but what it was is gone—all that remains is a need to fold you in, seen, hidden, cinnamon in kneaded challah

27 toward the Omer

yesod shebnetzach

Today’s learning: it is important to plant trees with the start of the root flare aboveground so the trunk can be trunk and let roots be roots

26 toward the Omer

hod shebnetzach

There are some goodbyes it takes one, and some goodbyes it takes two. What is a goodbye that takes one? It is when one leaves another.

What is a goodbye that takes two? When two leave each other. The supervisor comes and teaches: The first is when only one can tolerate it,

and the obligation falls upon that one. The supervisor adds on: Some goodbyes happen once, and some goodbyes happen more than once, until both are ready.

25 toward the Omer

I make quiche using pie crusts I had forgotten I had that were in someone else’s fridge, and it is easy, and not so simple,

for, even as we are dust and come from dust and return to dust, giving others what I declared before Leaving shall be like dust

is not a simple matter, dusty food is never a simple matter, even tasty dusty food full of onion and garlic and eggs and potatoes,

nor is feeding dusty words, tasty dusty words, dripping with dust, please, there is no ease here, don’t breathe these in, it’s not so simple

24 toward the Omer

tiferet shebnetzach

I pick the clear Harmony stone from the bowl on the table and hold it on my open palm. I want it to fit

and there is nothing, which could be okay. I put it back and pick up the translucent Accept stone, hold it in my palm.

It is heavier. My head aches, and I pause, and I pocket it. Another person takes the Harmony stone and is happy. I hope

that it brings good for them. I hope that I can live in the single note, the note under notes. That I sing it.

That in singing it, my head aches less. And if it does not, that I remember to turn the stone over, then over again.

23 toward the Omer

gevurah shebnetzach

New lavender plant in my hands, I walk back by the lawn where the two girls had told me about the watering can

their daddy is spraypainting pink for them, and they are going to share it, and mommy and daddy also have a watering can,

and here (running into the garage and bringing it out) it is, and I think, Verily, I have experienced wellbeing in my life.

22 toward the Omer

chesed shebnetzach

and the point drops, bottoms out, spreads, always right there beneath your wings, should you choose to fly, create space for it

21 toward the Omer

malkhut shebtiferet

This and that. This and the other one. This and one. This and be present. This and be present to this
and that. This and the present one. This and be. This and be one. This and be other are one. This

20 toward the Omer

yesod shebtiferet

“Despite the fact that the funding for this jail has been halted and people are tied down at the construction

site, Dow Constantine has continued to rush the construction….Imagine what we can get done if we actually get invested

in our future generations and communities instead of jailing them.” —Daniel Oron, filming today’s No New Youth Jail protest, Seattle

And as some are arrested, others sing: “Courage, courage, my friend, friend, you do not walk alone. We will, we

will, walk with you and sing your spirit home. Courage, courage, my friend, my friend, you do not walk alone.

We will, we will, walk with you, walk with you, and sing your spirit home.” People’s Mic: This is a

quote from Assata Shakur. It is our duty to fight for our freedom. It is our duty to win. We

must love and protect each other. We have nothing to lose but our chains. It is our duty to fight

for our freedom. It is our duty to win. We must love and protect one another. We have nothing to

lose but our chains. We have nothing to lose but our chains. We have nothing to lose but our chains.

We have nothing to lose but our chains. No New Youth Jail. No New Youth Jail. No New Youth Jail.

No New Youth Jail. No New Youth Jail. No New Youth Jail. No New Youth Jail. No New Youth Jail.

No New Youth Jail. No New Youth Jail. No New Youth Jail. No New Youth Jail. No New Youth Jail.

19 toward the Omer

hod shebtiferet

Sometimes, the chair falls out from under you, and sometimes, someone pulls the chair out from under someone else,

and you watch, and sometimes, the person didn't mean to, and they apologize, and sometimes, it's no big deal,

and sometimes it's a big deal. Sometimes goodbyes are hard. Sometimes goodbyes are built out of Legos, or slime,

or earrings that you don't have holes for, and sometimes goodbyes are returned earrings. Sometimes, goodbyes are a chair

pulled out from under you. Sometimes they didn't mean to, and they apologize, and sometimes, it's no big deal,

and sometimes it's a big deal. Sometimes goodbyes are a chair made of Legos, or slime, or earrings you

just don't have holes for anymore. Sometimes, someone pulls the chair out from under someone else, and you watch,

and you didn't mean to. Sometimes, the chair falls out from under you, and you, built of chairs, apologize.

18 toward the Omer

netzach shebtiferet

Long worms are out on the dark wet road, and I make some effort to step around them.
She wraps up. How does that land on your heart? she says. Where is my heart? I say,
and let the phone drop, and go in search of my heart, and find it, and it shares.
Back inside, the little dog named Autumn is asleep along the top of the back of the sofa.
I start to pet her then stop, worrying that I will knock her off. She does not say
Could you please just trust that I have a knack for balance, and can you hold with me
that a small tumble in pursuit of greater connection is something we both know how to survive,
and some wellnesses are too immense and infallible ever to be upset irrevocably by the likes of us?

17 toward the Omer

tiferet shebtiferet

Does ice rain count as frost? I ask my best friend the flower farmer while driving home,
and to her credit, she does not laugh. In the morning I walk on asphalt by earth bare again
but for scattered clumps of green still bursting through, as they will do, like joy through sorrow

16 toward the Omer

I call out I do not see you and in me naming this you show up
or do I for there is no way to know where you are before I arrive

15 toward the Omer

chesed shebtiferet

there is rest to be found in the moment when everything hangs in the balance

14 toward the Omer #2

malkhut shebigvurah

Outside, inside the fence, at a restaurant. I tilt back in my metal armchair
the way my classmates got scolded for in middle school and realize I’m okay.
Two more join, also not eating, and share how they came to be present.
You’ve met three times, I say, now minhag, right? My friend says: A chazaka.
I say: Right, a chazaka. She says: Some say neder. I say: Chazaka chazaka
v’nitchazeika. She says: An adjective or an imperative? Bat Kol says: I’m off today

14 toward the Omer

malkhut shebigvurah

It is taught: pikuach nefesh docheh haShabbat. Is it not taught: i.e., your soul?
A teacher says: Save your soul, then find Shabbat again. Another teacher says What?!
The editors modify: When you choose to save a soul, your soul is opened

13 toward the Omer

yesod shebigvurah

Skipping stones—the way: to make contact, to move forward, to make contact,

12 toward the Omer

hod shebigvurah

somewhere between exceptionalism and the deep pit (another form of exceptionalism?)

there is being a human (also, some passersby returned my car keys)

11 toward the Omer

netzach shebigvurah

In this calm night my left calf holds something for me
and I worry until I realize it wants me-us to dance

10 toward the Omer

tiferet shebigvurah

I settle on the wood floor by the bed, search
for my pen to write down how his hand touches
the corner of the ceiling over the stairs, it’s something
about this soft acknowledgement of the edges of the world

9 toward the Omer

gevurah shebigvurah
In continued memory-livracha of my grandmother, Sylvia Greenfield Moses

like a butterfly released from a very pretty net

8 toward the Omer

chesed shebigvurah
in honor of Rev. Aisha Ansano’s ordination

She appears as the center of a sunflower
grown by the people she has helped grow

7 toward the Omer

malkhut shebchesed

I sit down next to her curled
on the pillow by the front door,
call her sister, love what this allows,
for calling her sister calls me now—
calling her sister somehow calls me present

6 toward the Omer #2

yesod shebchesed

When someone is healing, you do.

6 toward the Omer

yesod shebchesed

When someone is healing, you do
what you have to do, and
someone is always healing. This is
the teaching. Go and learn it.

5 toward the Omer

hod shebchesed

some where along the highway:
lost car keys could happen
to anyone, I remind myself,
rather, anyone with car keys

4 toward the Omer #2

netzach shebchesed

Rabbi Tarfon might say
you’ve written four words

Rabbi Tarfon might say
write four more words

Rabbi Tarfon might say
don’t nothing yourself for

4 toward the Omer

netzach shebchesed

Charoset on salad greens
as dessert number two
after handfuls of chocolate

3 toward the Omer

tiferet shebchesed

(it was always
me and You

because me and
them was not

but now it
is and You

are in us
or among or

on another plane
and also the

lines between there
is no need

to reduce the
tension don’t You

make me choose
as if You

were just some
third side I

learned in my family
systems class that

triangles just feel
like a resolution)

(we are all
already right here)


Reference: https://thebowencenter.org/theory/eight-concepts/

2 toward the Omer

gevurah shebchesed

I put
my password
into the
app SelfControl

and find
myself, re-leased

1 toward the Omer

chesed shebchesed

Caleb
wags
her
tail
a
room
away
when
he
calls
Caleb