43-48 toward the Omer

And so it is that the moment of meeting goes unwitnessed by the written word.

Running the steps then a final leap up--

42 toward the Omer

God, I had missed this, these singing times, these alone times, these you and me times, let's set a standing date why don't we, Friday nights at ten pm, you bring the world and I'll bring myself, we'll feel some things together

41 toward the Omer

yesod shebiysod

A day of foundations within foundations is a day of sick is a day of sleep is a day of retreat is a day of someone helping me walk home as I say some people feel like this all the time

40 toward the Omer

Humility/Splendor in Connection/Foundation

After a Contest of Silly Walks at HDS I send an email to a listserv on my way to witness a friend's conversion. What a moment of humility, of splendidness, being present as someone acknowledges their connections, their foundations.

Three minutes left
to write a poem

before running
to the T

where I will meet
a fellow traveler

May the ways in which we are interconnected be a source of humility that leads us together to a more splendorous world.

39 toward the Omer

On the T we find a tiny worm on my jacket and carry it on our hands and clothing to bring it outside until we make to exit the train and my attention falters a second and it's gone

38 toward the Omer

there's a magnolia tree with all of these blossoms and then all of these leaves and in the off-season it pulls my hat off if I'm walking looking down as if to say I am still here

37 toward the Omer

I thought that yesterday's step was the last for a while but the next step starts right away and I find myself missing the landing that didn't exist which would have echoed back down to my foundations

and so I hold on to the banister look over the edge to see that the stairs and the ground can be the same the breath is there but it's up to me to weave it through

36 toward the Omer

Chesed shebysod

Rabbi Yochanan looks down. Is your suffering dear to you? he asks. No, I say, but his life is my reward. No, he says. He reaches out. I release the phone. I let myself be lifted.

35 toward the Omer

malkhut shebhod - nobility in humility

I wear a soft purple skirt given to me to an apartment where someone has made fajitas for me accompanied by someone who holds my hand and I am late and I bring exquisite salad

34 toward the Omer

Fringe: n. 1. That which reminds a person of her path. 2. That which reminds a person of her place. 3. That which must stay where it is and not pretend it is otherwise.

33 toward the Omer

hod shebhod

ice cream for breakfast

with a rabbi I do not feel

until a friend picks up

the phone I am

not okay crying

opens colors

around me fresh

as air after night rainfall

32 toward the Omer

In my dreams with too many steps I jumped from landing to landing but I don't like it anymore I want to run let me run let me down I'll do it

31 toward the Omer

Baby animals on campus
for relief during exams.

We clamber over the fence.
I don't think I'll feel better but I do.

Worn logic: holding relieves the need to be held.

30 toward the Omer

The days shade closer to future days and my paper shades closer to being due and I shade closer to reeling and light orange flowers shade to darker orange flowers

29 toward the Omer

the day that I stopped writing my omer poems (until today)

There is a moment when someone gets in the car and someone drives the car away and someone hugs the one left and someone is left with a hug

Watercolors only bleed the right way if you use the right paper the paper warps otherwise the water doesn't stay where it belongs which is not in the paper

Or maybe in the paper is where it belongs and certain stains shouldn't stay surface uncover my permadirt my fountains where are they I need to bend with them

28 toward the Omer

A song holds a heartbeat of a generation
saying we will run to where you'll meet us
just tell us where to meet you we will run there

the dot is somewhere beyond where we can see
it focuses our vision everything else numbs us
just tell us where to run just everything else is numbing

27 toward the Omer

Leading services in
ten minutes twenty
minutes away walking

she stands by
a car paused
at the light

looks in the
window at a
woman looking out

26 toward the Omer

Black henna smears
on my mom's
ankle I touched it
I'm seven I know
better I did
it anyway no
tears will ever
take it back

25 toward the Omer

I spill the
full cup of hot
tea over the keyboard
and the desk and
the floor a boy
laughs at me
nine years ago

over dinner They say
When will you
learn not to move
in ways that make no
ripples you cannot
collect them back
again they are

gone When will
you not disappoint
The computer propped
open upside-down
drips and I
have no shame no
thing to do but
go on breathing